i didn't realise i'd moved to the tropics!

Friends and I are melting away under the London sun. At 30 degrees Celcius, I realised that it is just as bad to stay indoors than outdoors, especially when you're living a rather economical lifestyle these days and you're refraining hard from purchasing a fan. Why get one when you know that it's going to outlive its purpose by the next day, and that's when it starts to rain again. Here's to being pessimistic realistic about London weather! And in between our text exchanges earlier today, particularly about how many showers we have taken so far (at that point, the counter read 3 and it was only 1 pm!), we decided to quit moaning and face the heat. So with a frisbee, a picnic mat and 3 different sun-screen lotions in tow, we hit the park, rather half-heartedly, with much sweating to look forward to.

The frisbee served as no more than a decorative ornament, as it was hardly played. We just sat around and people-watched and made up life stories for those who passed us by. The group to our left were butch-looking women who hated kids, and the couple right across us are trying hard to straighten out their domestic issues. At least that was per our version of their life stories anyway.

We were right. The heat was far too unbearable and we finally came to terms with the fact that we are not mat sallehs and will never be able to appreciate the novelty of a day like this. And on our way home, guess what we picked up?

Air kelapa! At £1.50 a pop, I bagged four. Quite a task carrying them back home I tell ya, but in a weather like this, it was just what I needed.

72 things

I've drawn up a 'going home' to-do list, and it seems like I've got about 72 things to get done. A little overwhelming, but that's okay.

Coz that only means I've got about 687 other things to look forward to! =)

ripped it like a band-aid

I did it. I dropped the bomb today.

I must have seen this as a really important occassion as I went in in my best suit which I haven't worn in years, and had my hair up and everything. Kinda like the day that started this all.

He was late, which only aggravated the jitters. Ten minutes later, he entered the boardroom, all sweaty and apologetic. Once he caught his breath, I said it all - quick and succinct.

Without looking at all surprised, he asked me why. And I only told him half the truth. How funny - even though I was almost at the finish line, I realised it was still impossible to be completely honest when in a professional capacity.

I think it was out of formality above anything else, that he tried to convince me to consider the upside of staying with the company. But lucky for me, I'm not one who's easily lured by the sweet sounds of ka-ching! Not at this stage anyway. Formalities aside, he then spoke of the finer things, like adulthood, crossroads, priorities, calling-the-shots, the-bigger-picture. And from all that, I could tell that he finally understood the real reason behind my decision. And that made it a whole lot easier for me.

At some point within our conversation, we made a little trip down memory lane. For us, what started as a professional relationship grew into something else. He bought me special Indian mangoes a few times, and I helped him pick out the engagement ring for his then-girlfriend, who has now obviously become his wife. We shared a few laughs and exchanged the typical farewell mumbo-jumbo and promised to stay in touch.

Phew, that wasn't too hard.

So I did it. I'm going home.

anyway...

I put on my new shoes today and suddenly everything just felt right. And then the rain started pouring, and surprisingly things felt even better. My affinity for the rain has been a well-kept secret - a secret I plan to keep, just to fit in for a while longer.

It's been light showers non-stop since Wednesday. And tonight, London is at it again - which makes tonight the kind of night for a tub of ice cream and a duvet. Yes, I prefer my ice cream in cold weather. And I've been spending the last hour browsing through blogs of friends and blogs of friends of friends, and oh boy, do I know so much about babies and breast pumps already.

If it is not yet glaringly obvious, I am completely *bluergh* with my job. Completely apathetic, totally demotivated, down right bored! It is like a bad relationship gone worse, and I'm looking for every excuse to up and leave. But (un)fortunately, I am a lady of ethics and I honour my responsibilities - so here I am patiently holding up my end of the bargain.

I want a glamorous job. And why is it when I say 'glamorous', people immediately think fashion? No, I am not interested in fashion. I am only interested in making enough so I can wear anything close to whatever Kate Moss is wearing. Anyway, I've gone through various career websites in this pursuit of a job that might slightly tickle my fancy and I must say I'm dismayed with my search. Why is there no information about script-writing, playing in Wimbledon or flying into space?

Over dinner, we discussed the prospects of me becoming a secret agent. That would be so cool! I think the whole concept of split personality, and gadgets, and encryptions and going undercover and kicking people in the tush and saving the nation - just exudes class. And the whole thing with secrecy? I keep conversations regarding work with the other half at miminum anyway, and so having to take an oath of secrecy, works perfectly for me. And plus, I've always wanted to work on something top secret so that when somebody asks about what I'm working on, I can say, "I'm sorry. I can't say." Fuyyo.

But, who am I kidding? There's no way I can make a secret agent. The bad guys can take away my laptop and my iPod and I'll tell them everything!