Love, Life...or something like it

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Like in a cob web

Tales from work, part XXXVIII
You know you’ve had a hard day at work when you leave the cab without paying. And when the cab driver honks repeatedly at you, you smile at him and wave goodbye.

There’s definitely more to life than this. There’s gotta be more in a typical weekday than these final 3 hours before I hit the sack again. The time within which I fit in eating, cleaning, talking, listening and breathing altogether. The rest of the day I am the alter ego – faking smiles, shaking hands, requesting for favours, granting favours, being scared shitless, building a name, building a career - or so they say.

It's as if I live a cycle of contradictions on a daily basis. Between wanting to be successful, yet not wanting to succumb to things so unreal and pretentious. Between being in awe of the career portfolio of an audit partner and at the same time sharing his regret for missing out on watching his two sons grow. Between believing that money can't buy happiness and well...believing that it probably can.

But if things were based on a delicate balance and finding that balance was as easy as not winning the lottery, then this world would be problem-free. I have come to terms that work, in essence is not tough. Technical knowledge and professional conduct can be learned off of a book, a mentor or through experience. But my everyday quest is all about tipping my 30-70 scale to a perfect 50-50. Ok, maybe 49-51.


Of niceties and travesties
Human beings have a knack for making things complicated. We always wonder why things can't be much simpler but sub-consciously we abuse and take the essence out of the simplest things. You would think that in a world so manic and insincere, a little act of being nice could probably do us some good. But when we're presented with a nice thought or gesture, we question it, misinterprete it, misunderstand and misuse it. Never do we take them as what they are. And never had I thought that the simple and basic values that I was taught as a kid are now being practised at my own expense and at the detriment of my well-being and reputation. So baby, no more Mr. Nice guy.


The tortoise and the hare
The tale of the tortoise and the hare has been shared with generations and generations. By now, the hares would have learned their lesson and would know not to digress or lose focus in a race. They are now a little bit wiser with the same speed and strength in tow. The tortoises, on the other hand are that much wiser but no faster than what they have always been. They will continue to take it one step at a time and learn to be content with second place. These tortoises now need that extra edge. A new tale of wisdom needs to be made and told.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Shout-outs




I love you, Popster! There's no other popster quite like you.
(That's daddy-o and I in Madamme Tussauds, this time last year. He was pretending to be a wax statue. I, on the other hand, was forced to pretend to be all fanatical of him.)



Happy Birthday Kedot, my pillar of strength. And you don't look a day old ;)

Monday, June 12, 2006

After 11 days of deliberations

June Babies


She's 24. He's just plain old.
Happy birthday sweethearts!
Miss you both loads!
Mwa!


Talk the talk
I believe some cat may have got my tongue. Someone or something has robbed me off of my words and all of a sudden I haven’t got much to say. During dinner conversations, I just nod along and nod along. I smile in acceptance and nod along. Agree with the majority and disagree when nodding starts to strain the neck . It’s this little game I play. Because at this point, why bother? Why put your heart out on a plate, only to have them look at it and then inch it away?

I am no longer the ‘provider’ of stories and experiences. Because I am void of stories and experiences. The tables have turned, and now I am all ears. I hear their stories and feel happy for some, and feel sorry for many more. The pinnacle has turned to a trough, and now I’m set back miles behind on this current adventure. What current adventure? Look around you and see what the talk of the town is these days.


Sparks & Mensa

Now and again, a reality check comes knocking to remind me of where I stand on the 'intelligence' scale. It could be at work, or over lunch with workmates, or at home while watching University Challenge. And the result always comes back reinstating the fact that I haven't budged much from where I've always been - near the average. Am I bothered? Maybe not. But sometimes I wonder how the view looks like from the top.

So I've been fortunate enough to cross paths with some of the most prodigious eggheads I know. At one point I was so envious of how effortlessly they excel in class, that I tried to be their carbon copy. I sleep and rise when they do, eat what they eat and sometimes don't say what they don't say. Tak elok kutuk2 orang, nanti ilmu hilang. But after awhile, I thought, nahh....to each their own. They've got their own style and I've got my own.

So it goes without saying that I've had my fair share of moments where I feel a little dim up there. In KMYS (being FAMA-funded), in RPI (being a FOB in general), or amongst peers where they reply with a 'haaa.....polytechnic?' everytime I tell them of my alma mater. And now on a daily basis since I've been employed.

People at work are exceptionally briliant. How they do what they do just baffles me. How they love what they do baffles me even more. Though sometimes I wonder how anyone can be so passionate about something so technical, so methodical, so guided and has no room for creativity. Passionate auditors, your two cents please.

A working day follows the same (nerve-wrecking) routine. As I brush my teeth, I am prioritsing in my head my to-do list. In the shower, I am reciting my questions for the FC - trying to add in some tact to the questions so I don't come across as stupid or making 'silly audit requests'. As I'm drying my hair, nope - no digression here - the hair needs all of the attention ;). But as soon as I step out of my apartment and make my way to work, I tread on eggshells.

And off I go to break an eggshell.