After 11 days of deliberations

June Babies

She's 24. He's just plain old.
Happy birthday sweethearts!
Miss you both loads!
Mwa!

Talk the talk
I believe some cat may have got my tongue. Someone or something has robbed me off of my words and all of a sudden I haven’t got much to say. During dinner conversations, I just nod along and nod along. I smile in acceptance and nod along. Agree with the majority and disagree when nodding starts to strain the neck . It’s this little game I play. Because at this point, why bother? Why put your heart out on a plate, only to have them look at it and then inch it away?

I am no longer the ‘provider’ of stories and experiences. Because I am void of stories and experiences. The tables have turned, and now I am all ears. I hear their stories and feel happy for some, and feel sorry for many more. The pinnacle has turned to a trough, and now I’m set back miles behind on this current adventure. What current adventure? Look around you and see what the talk of the town is these days.

Sparks & Mensa
Now and again, a reality check comes knocking to remind me of where I stand on the 'intelligence' scale. It could be at work, or over lunch with workmates, or at home while watching University Challenge. And the result always comes back reinstating the fact that I haven't budged much from where I've always been - near the average. Am I bothered? Maybe not. But sometimes I wonder how the view looks like from the top.

So I've been fortunate enough to cross paths with some of the most prodigious eggheads I know. At one point I was so envious of how effortlessly they excel in class, that I tried to be their carbon copy. I sleep and rise when they do, eat what they eat and sometimes don't say what they don't say. Tak elok kutuk2 orang, nanti ilmu hilang. But after awhile, I thought, nahh....to each their own. They've got their own style and I've got my own.

So it goes without saying that I've had my fair share of moments where I feel a little dim up there. In KMYS (being FAMA-funded), in RPI (being a FOB in general), or amongst peers where they reply with a 'haaa.....polytechnic?' everytime I tell them of my alma mater. And now on a daily basis since I've been employed.

People at work are exceptionally briliant. How they do what they do just baffles me. How they love what they do baffles me even more. Though sometimes I wonder how anyone can be so passionate about something so technical, so methodical, so guided and has no room for creativity. Passionate auditors, your two cents please.

A working day follows the same (nerve-wrecking) routine. As I brush my teeth, I am prioritsing in my head my to-do list. In the shower, I am reciting my questions for the FC - trying to add in some tact to the questions so I don't come across as stupid or making 'silly audit requests'. As I'm drying my hair, nope - no digression here - the hair needs all of the attention ;). But as soon as I step out of my apartment and make my way to work, I tread on eggshells.

And off I go to break an eggshell.