my life, a work-in-progress

I feel like the world is moving at warp speed, while I'm perched on the sidelines watching. And waiting. I guess some things just work out for some people, while the rest have to work a bit harder and wait a little longer. I get it.

Every night there's that small glimmer of hope that what I did in the day would have crystallised into something solid, and measurable. I work hard. I listen harder, I resist harder. I try to please the impossible. I try to level with the rigid. I learn from mistakes. I change. He wasn't happy when I said that the other day, so I say something else. She wasn't too pleased when I didn't do that the other day, so I do it this time. But at the end of the day, nothing ever changes, I'm back to where it started. At the end of the day, we are still a bunch of rigid, bitter and unforgiving souls, hovering over old baggage, with less to smile and much to grumble about.

I am trying to make things happen for me here. For things to freaking crystallise. Because I'm still young and agile and happy, and because if not now, then when? But I feel anchored. I think I listen too much to the words from the wise. It is them and their uninvited opinions and their self-righteous ideologies. Of what's right and wrong. Of how humans should only be of a certain breed, and a certain kind. Their words keep me anchored.

No, I don't have it all figured out. I am clueless than ever, but it'd be nice if they'd shut up and allow me to take this chance and allow for my dreams to crystallise. Like sand into pearls? Or like milk into cheese, please?

For now I've got nothing to offer at the coffee table because everything is still work-in-progress. But, check back soon.