Full Circle

I call this moment in time, my 6-month mark. For the last six months, it was as if, I was dragged and put in the driver seat and was told to drive to a place unknown, with no skills of how to drive, with no knowledge of the road and signs and with no clue of the destination ahead. Amidst all that have happened though, I managed to survive a heartbreak, received raving appraisals from work, and filtered 'real' friends down to a good number. Given the time, not that impressive. But given the circumstances, I'm quite pleased.

The journey in itself taught me some valuable lessons. Other than learning that salsa and Indian don't mix (and by Indian, I mean Indian food), I've also learned that nothing in life ever comes easy. Call me a slow-learner - but I've delayed my apprehension of the trials and tribulations of life, as I've been giving life too much benefit of the doubt. A small part of me still believed that somewhere and sometime, that silver lining would still come around. So perception does not always become a reality, huh? But now I believe , that it is in all entirety, very true. I have given up trying to understand why, why me. But instead, I've taken a change of path and chosen to embrace the fact that even an innocent trip to the grocery store serves a challenge of its own. I've just gotta be prepared - umbrella, comfy shoes and some change and all should be splendid!

Time and circumstances have brought me home again. Like many times before, I let myself have a few days of adjusting. This time somehow, it felt a bit more difficult to do. People seem more self-engrossed, conversations succinct but less stimulating and the air around me tasted a little stale. I adjust a bit more until I feel I've done enough. Adjusting any further would be unnecessary. I guess the more I wish for things to stay the same, the more they change. I could try to understand that now that people are more career-oriented, an old friend's visit from a faraway land seem trivial. Novelty wears off after awhile, no?

I'm tired and I smell like an ash-tray. I know, i know, shower and sleep seem like a more appropriate thing to do. But I can't help myself from feeling a tad bit reflective on a night like this, hence a string of words - when on its own, hardly makes sense so what more when you put them together.

And may I add, at trying times like these, it is sincere, heart-felt faraway thoughts and wishes that make all the difference. For that I thank you. :)