my life, a super drugstore

What baffles me sometimes is the amount of time I spend in a drugstore like Boots or Superdrug. Last night alone, I spent half an hour trying to decide on a mascara. I blame the exaggerated, over-inflated (and possibly false) advertising for putting me at an inconvenient crossroad, when I had to decide between two brands where one markets itself as a SuperLash Mascara and the other as giving XXL Volume. And the fact that I’m such a huge sucker for advertising didn’t help the matter.

An hour later, I bought neither of the two but left the store instead with a mascara which would supposedly make my lashes go Sky High. From mascaras, I moved to dental care. And I almost surrendered at the sight of the display of Oral-Bs and Listerines.

While realising that the cost which discerns one product from the other is trifling, I also realise that the quality of one from the other bears minimal difference. Yet too much deliberation and thought had gone into something as trivial as that. Because there I was – spoiled for choice.

I can find a certain kind of parallel between that and my life at the moment. I am presented before me an array of opportunities of what I can do with my life. While there are many career opportunities which tickle my fancy, not one stands out as the clear winner. They are not really what I want to do.

Life was so much easier back during the day when I had to write a 100-word long essay on ‘Who do you want to be when you grow up?’ I went through a phase where I wanted to become an astronaut, and even that went unchallenged.

But today, a job is more than just something that pays the bills.

Today, a job has to be something lucrative and something that parents are not ashamed to tell other people about at a cocktail party/kenduri kahwin. A job is something which determines the first reaction of the person whose hand you’re shaking for the first time. Especially, when you’re asked:

“So what do you do?’
“I’m a….” At which point you will either get a “Oohh! *eyebrows raised, impressed smile* or an “Oh.” *twitched nose, pathetic smile*

A job has little or nothing to do with passion and what gets you out of bed in the morning.

A job is also something which people use to define self-worth. No, seriously. I actually have a friend who (subconsciously) cultivates and sustains friendship based on their occupation. She only has friends whose jobs are from her dubbed Top 5 – which are engineers, lawyers, accountants, doctors and architects. She denies it, but after screening through her Facebook friend’s list, one can only affirm that it is indeed true. ;)

I don’t know who to feel sorrier for. Those with jobs who don’t fall within her Top 5, or for those who feel that it is important to have an important career to feel important.

Recently, I flirted with the idea of entering into a career, which most people wouldn’t expect I would. Teaching. And the wave of negative responses I received when I mentioned it to everyone, was very discouraging to say the least. “How are you going to support yourself?!” That question came as a shock actually, especially when I don’t see teachers living off the streets, in rags and living in poverty. I am so confused.

I attended the Career’s Fair held in London organised by some Malaysian students recently. The event was flooded with kids (fresh graduates), carrying around their resumes with so much passion and motivation in tow, selling their souls to the devil. Where else I……I just wandered around feeling old.

But I did take a chance and went from booth to booth and tried to make the best out of my fake smile and belted out when necessary....my oh my, it would be an absolute honour to be part of your firm.

Truth be told, my career at that point, could have been determined by a toss of a die or a flip of a coin and it would have made no difference to me, at all. Because here I am – spoiled for choice.