Love, Life...or something like it

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Sooo funny! Well, I think it's funny. Do u think it's funny?

My blog in Malay, apparently.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Up, up and away.

12 cans of Arizona Iced Tea and Salsa dips. Now that's a cue. It was a night of adventure - definitely a night to remember. Say, can you cha-cha? Slide, sway, move, groove? On that night, even a two-left-legged man morphed into a waltz master. Even I was dancing the likes of 'Sumazau' or 'Ngajat', yet I fit in perfectly. The rhythm was ours and ours alone - from the likes of Jamiroquai to Nina Simone. On normal days, my singing skills is comparable to that of a croaking frog. But that night, I was a star - dazzled the rich and famous, while I hit the soprano keys. As if my conscience had not suffered enough - from breaking routine and covering my trail, now they want me to steal cars?? The theme for the night was slick and stealth. That same song. That same masterplan. I wasn't an accomplice. I was just the observer. It was my first time. I grew tired from all the excitement and haste, and I slowly drifted away to slumberland. 'No!', they screamed. They tried to stop me. What? I can't sleep? Let me sleep, don't scare me. Why can't I sleep? Let me sleep. Don't scare me. But they kept stopping me. I was scared shitless. It was as if this ghosts and ghouls were coming towards me telling me not to close my eyes. And it was when I jumped into defence that all hell broke loose. I began to cry my eyeballs out. Lasted for a good 5 to 7 minutes. Everyone looked confused. Even I was confused. They all came to the rescue, and tried to alleviate the chaos. But that guy in the aviators kept dancing. With his cowboy hat, what the hell was he thinking? Remotely sympathetic, yet very wise. 'This is what we call mixed feelings', he said. Though it's blatantly obvious he was at the brink of a meltdown too. After awhile, everything died down. I gained composure. Got myself together. Boy what was that, huh? Minutes after, I sprung to the other end of the spectrum. I was a cheery kid - telling people of my crazy ambitions, who picked up an American accent along the way and just wouldn't quit. It got a tad bit annoying. That ghost and that beast, my loyal listeners. Sadly, that night had to end. So chaotic, so disconnected and so non-sensical - yet that turned out to be one of the best nights of my life. Flow baby, flow.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

ey yo fredster!


So that's a typical sight of my bro and I. Me lecturing him and him giving me the talk-to-the-hand look, minus the hand gesture. Hehe. Okay jokes aside....21 is a good age bro. Enjoy it while you can, coz when 23 or 24 comes lurking, that's when you get a taste of your own drama, and things just start snow-balling after. Hehe. But then again, knowing you, there's nothing in this world you can't handle. Love you dum-dum.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Dis-Connected

Everytime I'm in the car with my dad and when James Blunt's High comes on the radio, both of us will race for the radio. His finger landing on the 'change station' button and mine on the 'increase volume' button. Dad despises James Blunt - he thinks he sounds like a strangled cat when he sings, but I on the other hand, have developed quite a liking for that song in particular. After a brief finger-wrestle at the radio, dad would usually give in. But on that break of dawn, when we were on our way to KLIA - the roads were empty and the moon was still bright and huge, that it made me want to reach out and touch it - that song came on. Both of us raced for the radio. This time, he beat me to the 'increase volume' button. I laughed and looked at him and he said, "Hope it won't be too long before we see you next." I thought, sigh....ditto.

*

This break was extra special for me in many ways. It's the first time in awhile where all of my favourite girlfriends were around (in the same continent, at least). Many times before this, either Lyn would be partying it up in LA or Sara would be engrossed in a book in a coffee shop somewhere in a city down-under - leaving the group incomplete. Boy have we all grown up, huh? Talks on engagements, weddings, career changes - who would have thought? Everytime we meet, it's like makciks getting excited over a cheap bargain at a pasar malam. With them, it's always laughs and laughs and old jokes that never go stale. But underneath all that chaos, is this calming sensation that come what may, I've got their backs just as much as they've got mine. These faces are my angels. These faces are the ones who will accompany me at my death-bed when my time comes.

*

I concluded a chapter of my life recently. Figuratively or literally speaking - it doesn't matter. All that matters is that everything's done, dusted, locked and tossed away. Thank you :) - I never thought it was possible. Starting on a new page, new book. Took a plunge at the preface - I think I kinda like where this one's heading.

*

I look around and all I see is most people being caught up in the race for the riches and status. The quest within many is to get to the top of the ladder and be named Dato' by mid 40s. Despite whatever altruistic motives you remind yourself of each day, more often than not, money is both the drive and the goal. But one day, when everyone's luxury is no less than that of the next person, what distinguishes one from the other? To me, it is character. In a swarm of wealthy and beautiful people, good character prevails. I've seen pretty people, I've seen rich people - but now, all I want is to meet (more) people with good hearts.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Uh-oh

1_ I feel a little knot in my throat - and I suspect that this sensation will worsen towards the end of this week. The mind, the body and the soul have found its place - finding comfort in the little spaces of this corner of the world. Familiarity reigns time and time again. Getting a wee bit comfortable now, when I shouldn't.

2_ My little bit of faith in love came and left in a flicker. I can't decide if that has taught me to hope again or turn my back against it completely.

3_ I came home for one reason and one reason only. To relax - sleep in for as long as I want and nourish the body with a healthy diet. On the contrary, I've foregone sleep as I feel sleep is just a waste of time (because there's just too much to do) and I've adopted a relatively unhealhty eating pattern. I blame my socialising skills, because I choose beans-in-a-coffee-cup anyday over the bump'n'grind to socialise over. Thus resulting in a day which consists of 5 coffee cups and a kuay-teow goreng at 3 am and 2 sessions of a 4-hour sleep in between. And now, I'm sick as a puppy.

4_ I also came home for no drama. But who am I kidding fellasssss??

5_ After much scrutiny, I think I just made a mistake, and I feel quite foolish now. *slaps forehead*